Love Me Always (I Hate You...I Think) Page 5

Kimmy made a noise from behind that sounded very unladylike and very much like a snort. I glanced back at her giving her a look. We were probably going to get free drinks. Better than spend money I didn't have to waste. Unlike her, Alex had given her his credit card and told her buy anything.

  I struggled up the stairs; I still had not gained one-hundred percent muscle back in my legs so by the time I was at the top of the stairs I was trying to conceal my heavy breathing. He seemed to notice anyway and smiled.

  The balcony was private and had a wraparound seat with a table in the middle. Instead of going to it like I wanted to after my climb, I joined Angie and Taylor at the railing and looked down over the club.

  Everything was green. I mean yes I know the Club was called Envy, but the walls looked like neon green waves. The floor was black marble but reflected the flashing green, pink and purple lights.

  There had to have been 1000 people here or more. It was insane. There were two bars; one was in the middle of the room, the second against the far left wall. To the right was the stage and DJ stand. The giant green roof supports were made of what looked like glass with girls dancing inside of them. I was in awe of the place.

  "It's pretty impressive, isn't it?" The boy asked leaning on the railing close to me. "Yeah," I agreed and side glanced at the others. Kimmy was whispering something to Angie. Angie's face turned into a scowl and she glared at the guy. I raised my eyebrow at Kimmy, what was up with her?

  "I'm Harper by the way," he said extending his hand.

  "Ever."

  "Would you ladies like something to drink? It's on the house."

  "Do you have Sweet tart Lollipop?" I asked grinning. I loved that drink so much.

  Harper laughed, "I think we do," he smirked. After we all ordered our drink's with Kimmy getting her usual soda we sat down. Angie was wanting to dance, I knew Kimmy wasn't about to leave my side with her crazy overprotective mother look and Taylor looked torn.

  "Why don't you guys go dance," I spoke mostly to Taylor to let her know it was okay. She gave and unsure look but Angie jumped up ready to go. Mother hen, Kimmy, sat with her arms crossed eyeing Harper as if ready to pounce if he even moved an inch.

  "So Ever, You live here in the city?"

  "No, we live in Saldina."

  "Oh, so do you go to SU?"

  "Not anymore," I shook my head. “Had to drop out.”

  "Well, maybe you should go to Nework University. It's a very nice school."

  "I think right now I'm just going to try to get my life in order," I told him. I'm not sure why I was having a conversation with him. Why I was telling him anything? Mostly it was because Kimmy was sitting there watching and I was getting annoyed. I'm not a toddler. I can make decisions on my own and can talk to who I want to.

  "Yeah, your friend mentioned you have amnesia? How did that happen?" He asked leaned back putting his arm across the back of the couch behind me. Kimmy tensed like an anger kitten next to me. Pissed by her actions I leaned back against his arm out of spite. Not even looking at her, I answered him.

  "Yeah it was a big mess. I forgot a lot of stuff. I'm still trying to piece things together." "Ever, I'm going to the bathroom, will you come with me?" Kimmy told me. I looked over at her. "I don't need to go, but you can," turning away from her I looked back at Harper. He raised an eyebrow. Kimmy didn't move, so I turned to look at her.

  "Aren't you going?" Kimmy's eyes widened and she stood and stormed off. I hated to see her so mad but like I said I'm grown I can make my own decisions. I certainly didn't need a baby sitter.

  "What's wrong with her?" Harper mused.

  "She's just upset I'm talking to you," I blurted out.

  "Oh? And, why is that?" "Well, I am supposed to have a boyfriend. The problem is I don't remember ever meeting him."

  Mentally I cursed myself. Why was I telling him all this? I thought about it a moment. I do know why. Because he doesn't know what's going on. He's bias to the whole situation. I could talk to him without him saying, once you remember, or Oliver this, Oliver that.

  "That's a bit sad," he said no hint of remorse.

  I didn't seem to care though because I just kept spilling my guts to him. "His names Oliver and I don't know when I'm not around him everything sucks. But, he confuses me, you know," I looked up at Harper and blushed.

  "Sorry, kind of just spilled my guts to you."

  "It's no big deal," he said placing his hand on my shoulder. "So how are you able to come up here? Isn't this the owner’s private room or something?" I asked changing the subject.

  "Well. I am the owner," he grinned showing his shiny white teeth.

  "Really?" "Yeah. My dad owns the place. His names Weasley by the way," Harper gave me a sly look when he said his dad's name as if I would know who that was, but nothing came to mind.

  "Does he own other night clubs?" I asked. Maybe he was like a millionaire or something.

  "Yeah a few."

  "Wow, that's pretty cool. So you get to come here anytime you want and drink for free?"

  He shrugged. "It gets boring after a while."

  I nodded not sure what to say.

  "You don't want to dance?"

  "Oh...no," I shook my head. After that climb up the stairs, my leg hurt like hell.

  "Mind if I-?" his hand grazed my leg. Blushing I looked down realizing my scar was showing. I opened my mouth not sure what to say. His hand was extremely warm on my leg. Without an answer, yet he slid my dress up a little looking at the nasty scars that blended into an ugly purple mess.

  "You were shot?" he asked raising an eye brow.

  "Yeah," I muttered.

  "Hurts like a bitch don't it," he laughed.

  My head snapped up, "You’ve been shot?"

  He nodded. "In my right shoulder. Bullet's still lodged in there."

  "Everlyn," Kimmy snarled. I turned to look at her. She was standing with her hands on her hips, her eyes glued to the spot on my leg where Harper's hand still rested.

  "We're leaving. Right. Now."

  "I don't want to leave," I glared.

  I'm so sick and tired of being treated like a child. Kimmy should know that feeling better than anyone should after dealing with her parents. "It wasn't a question Ever. Get up," she said reaching over and taking my arm. I jerked it out of her grasp standing up.

  "Dammit Kimmy. I've lost my memory not become a child."

  "You're not thinking straight. You don't belong here. You belong back home with Oliver."

  "I don't know Oliver!" I yelled.

  "When you remember him then-"

  "Stop fucking telling me "when you remember"! What if I never do?" "Oliver is at home right now upset because you aren't living at the house anymore. Do you know how devastated he is that you don't remember anything?"

  "He's a big boy he'll be just fine," I told her crossing my arms but inside it felt as if someone had punched me in the stomach. I suddenly felt nauseas.

  "Do you even hear yourself?" she told me her voice getting louder.

  "I don't even know who you are anymore." "The same can be said for you. I NEVER see you anymore. All you ever do is spend time with Alex and I need you."

  "Not everything is about you, Ever. I spend time with Alex because I'm pregnant."

  I was taken aback by that. "What?" I blinked. "I've known for a long time now. I was going to tell you when you woke up after being shot but when you did wake, you didn't remember a damn thing so I took care of you. I was there for you every single day in the hospital. Not for a second have you given a damn about anything that any of us has done for you. Jet almost died. Oliver almost went to prison. Some of the gang has died for you, and your to ungrateful to even acknowledge it. You're so caught up in self-pity you can't see what's in front of you."

  I was cry now. I couldn't speak, couldn't think. What do I say? What is there to say?

  "Kimmy-" I started.

  "Save it," Kimmy snarled. "I'm going home. You can come or you can stay. I'm sure Harpe
r here will take really good care of you," she spun on her heels not saying another word and stormed off, but I was rooted to the spot and couldn't urge myself to follow her.

  "What was I to do now?"

  ~Animal I Have Become~

  I stared at the spot Kimmy just been standing feeling numb. I jumped as a hand touched my back. Looking up Harper was giving a worried look. It seemed fake but at that moment, I didn't care.

  "You okay?" Two simple words and I began sobbing. Harper wrapped him arm around me and pulled me into his chest. "You shouldn't be here," my head screamed. Harper rubbed my back softly. It wasn't what I wanted. It wasn't who I wanted, but it was nice nonetheless.

  "Hey?" Harper said softly lifting my chin. "Why don't we get out of here? We'll get something to eat if you'd like?"

  "I just want to go home," I muttered rubbing my eyes not even caring about smudging my makeup. Hell it was probably running down my face. Harper used the sleeve of his jacket and wiped my face.

  "I'll take you home then," he smiled. "I live in Saldina, Harper. I'm not going to let me drive all the way out there just to take me home. Thank you though."

  "It's no problem, really," he insisted wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me forward.

  I wanted to protest but how else was I getting home? I could call one of the guys. I know Jake would be here in a heartbeat but did I really want to face any of them? Maybe Kimmy was right, I'm having a pity party and I don't need to drag them in it further.

  "Okay," I told Harper allowing him to guide me through the nightclub to the back. The halls were dimly lit but he knew where he was going. We came to a guarded back door that opened for us quickly.

  "Would you like me to have a car brought around Mr. Jackson?" the guard asked.

  "No, I'm taking my own." Parked in the back alley were a few very nice cars one being a very sleek, very nice green sports car.

  "Wow."

  Harper grinned. "It's a 2007 SSC Ultimate Aero third fastest street legal car in the world." I gaped at the car. Oliver had a poster of this car in his bedroom but I wasn't about to tell Harper that.

  "What does Oliver drive?" Harper asked opening my car for me.

  "An Altima," I muttered. He smirked.

  "But, I think he has a motorcycle too," I defended. Harper raised an eyebrow. My cheeks reddened and I looked away. He shut my door and headed for the driver seat. The car sounded like a monster as it came alive. The rumble of the engine made my heart flutter. Securing my seatbelt just in time Harper threw the beast in reverse and I was sucked forward but just as quickly, I was plastered to the seat as he gunned it.

  My heart just about exploded in fear, or maybe adrenaline, as he took the corner onto the main road. Sliding...yes sliding out on to the road he stomped the gas again and I felt the power of the car suck my stomach almost completely out of my body.

  I couldn't help the excitement bubble inside of me. Sure, it was terrifying but I liked the feeling. Before I knew it, we were on the highway headed for home. He weaved in and out of traffic like a pro.

  "I really like you Ever," Harper spoke glancing over at me. I looked away embarrassed. "Maybe we could hang out again? I don't mind coming and getting you. It would be like a date."

  "Umm..." I frowned. Did I want that? “ No,” a voice whispered in my head. I thought about what Kimmy had said. Maybe I was selfish. Oliver did care about me. Could I go out with Harper? It would hurt Oliver so much.

  "Oh come on," Harper encouraged. "Do you still want them running your life? That girl, Kimmy right? All mothering and bossy? Don't you have a say in your life? When do you get to make decisions to make you happy not everyone else? You are entitled to be happy Ever."

  I nodded. Don't I deserve to be happy? I mean ever since I woke up I've been completely depressed. Maybe I have been selfish, but I am entitled to be happy ain't I? Kimmy could have told me she was pregnant. I didn't need her taking care of me. I don't need anyone babying me. I'm grown I make my own decisions.

  "A date sounds nice," I told him.

  "Great. What are you doing tomorrow?"

  I shook my head, "Nothing." "How about I be at your place about seven? I'll show you the best there is. I promise," he grinned. The shadows in the car cast across his ace as he said this and it made me want to shiver. How was he so familiar?

  I waved at Harper from the stairs as he pulled out of the parking lot. Once he was out of sight, I looked down at my cell phone. He had gave me his cell phone number, told me to text him later. Frowning down at my cell, I realized I had four texts and three phone calls. Opening the first text, it was from Kimmy.

  "Ever, I'm sorry. Where are you? We're waiting by the car." -Kimmy "Ever, why aren't you answering your phone we looked around the club but they said you left." -Kimmy

  "Ever! Pick up your phone!" -Taylor

  "Hey Kimmy just called me freaking out where r u?" -Jake

  The calls were from Kimmy, Jake, and then Oliver.

  Just as I was about to listen to the voicemail the phone rang again. Sighing I answered it.

  "Hello?"

  "Everlyn Ann Fox, where the hell are you?" Kimmy exclaimed.

  "I'm at home," I told her.

  "He took you home?" she scoffed.

  "Yes, he did," I told her. She sighed. "Ever, I'm sorry. I was just grumpy. I was a jerk for all the things I said. Can I come over so we can talk?"

  "I'm about to go to sleep," I told her glaring at the elevator door as I pressed the button. "Oh ok. Well maybe tomorrow?" she asked sounding hurt. I pushed down my guilt. She had hurt me just an hour ago. Maybe she apologized but remember I'm selfish. The elevator dinged and the doors slide open.

  "No, I'm busy tomorrow. I got to go, really tired," I hung up and slumped into the elevator. The doors slide shut and my distorted reflection stared back at me.

  What had I become? Angry, bitter, and mean? Maybe when I lost my memory something inside of my head broke too? What if I never go back to the way I was? I know I'm different. I know I'm hurting people but I can't seem to stop. What is wrong with me?

  ~~~

  I was running through a forest. It was pouring rain and I was so cold. Tripping I fell into a mud puddle, footsteps were running up on me I tried to dive under a bush but someone grabbed my ankle and jerked me back out throwing me over on my back. I was no longer outside but in a rundown shed backing up against the wall, I stared at the person before me. There face was cast in shadows.

  “Stay away from me,” I threatened in a weak voice. They laughed darkly. “I’m not going anywhere Ever. I’m always going to be here. You can never get rid of me.”

  I cringed. Jason. I knew his voice. Stepping forward there face no longer covered in darkness I seen it wasn’t Jason at all. It was a boy with black hair and a red streak threw it.

  “ You’ll never get rid of me,” he leered stepping closer. I drew my knees closer. In one swift movement, he grabbed my hair jerking me off the floor and tilting my head to look at him.

  “I’m in your head, in your dreams, in your nightmares,” he laughed.

  I bite my lip so I would not cry out. “ As long as I’m here you’ll never have your memories. You’ll never have Oliver. He’s mine. He always has been and always will be.”

  The boy reared his hand back and punched me I slammed to the ground and looked up at him. Pulling out a gun, he pointed it at me. I screamed and there was a pop.

  ~~~ I woke up screaming. Something was coiled around my chest and I couldn't breathe. I fought and clawed at it gasping for air. The blanket fell away and I kicked it off then scooted back against my headboard pulling my knees to my chest. I hiccupped and sobbed hard into my hands. This lasted for a few endless minutes until my breathing returned to normal.

  Reaching out in the dark, I grabbed my cell from the nightstand. Opening recent calls, I scrolled down to Oliver's name. I stared at in a moment my finger hovering over the send button. Sighing I scrolled down a little further to Leon. I knew Jake
was with Taylor and I didn't have the heart to call Kimmy.

  The phone rang a few times before a very sleepy Leon answered.

  "Huh?" he grunted.

  "Leon?"

  "Ever?" he questioned a little more awake.

  "Yeah, it's me."

  "Are you alright? What's going on?"

  "I...I just needed someone to talk to-"

  "I understand," he grunted some more and shuffled around.

  "Well it's six would you like to go get some coffee and talk?"

  I smiled, "Yeah. That sounds nice. You really don't mind?"

  "Of course not, Everlyn. You're family."

  ~Drug of Choice~

  I opened my apartment door to find a tired looking Leon standing before me. He had baggy black pants and a hoody. Chains and straps hang from his pants. I wonder how he walks without tripping on those things.

  "And I thought I was tired," Leon muttered taking in my disheveled look. My uncombed hair was tied in a messy bun. I had black sweat pants and a blue jacket with white slippers. I knew my eyes were puffy and red. I didn't even bother with make-up.

  Stepping forward he wrapped me up in his arms and just held me tight while stroking my hair. Pulling back slightly he looked down.

  "Let's go get you some coffee. I know a nice place we can go and hang out," he smiled.

  "Thanks Leon," I told him rubbing my face with the sleeve of my jacket.

  Keeping his arm around me, we headed down stairs to his car. "How is Oliver?" I asked looking up at Leon. A look passed over his face that I couldn't place.

  "What's wrong?" I questioned unsure.

  He shook his head. "Oliver told all of us not to mention anything to you."

  I stopped in my tracks. "What? Leon tell me." He sighed running his hand through his hair. All boys must do that when their nervous or frustrated.

  "Ever, Oliver has been in very bad shape since you left, but we'll talk about it when we get where we're going," he said holding out his hand for me.

  "Promise?" I muttered feeling miserable again. He nodded. I took his hand and got into the car. Which was Tyler's little two seater. Kimmy had told me before that this car was Jet's but he can't drive anymore.