Love Me Always (I Hate You...I Think) Read online

  I placed my hands flat to my sides to hide the fact that they were trembling. "I don't believe you. Me staying away from Oliver isn't going to change Weasley. He'll still talk to Oliver. Oliver will still turn him down."

  "But, if you are out of the picture He'll have no leverage. Oliver is a big boy and can take care of himself, but not with you around."

  "Oliver cares about other people. His gang." "Not like you, Everlyn. Jason knew that and he was a dumbass," Harper rolled his eyes throwing his hands up in the air annoyed.

  "I just got him back, Harper," I told him. I could hear the strain in my voice, "I'm not letting him go again."

  I was mostly telling myself.

  "You have to," he told me firmly. "Why do you even care?" I breathed. My chest was constricting. I felt as if I was going to drop to the floor.

  Harper frowned and turned his back on me. I saw him run his hands through his hair.

  "I'm sorry for hitting you," he muttered guiltily.

  My shoulders sagged. Why do I feel so freakin sorry for him?

  "Why don't you just join Oliver? You know he'll take you in a heartbeat."

  Harper was silent.

  "Because no one escapes my father," he said so softly I almost didn't hear it. Walking around him, I stood in front of him. His blackened eyes were shining in the light as if he might cry.

  Sighing, I touched his arm. He recoiled. "I just...I wanted to say sorry for the way I acted. You better go check on your friend," he pushed pass me to the door unlocking it and pulling it open.

  I followed him into the hall. Fast as lightening Harper was on the ground with little Taylor on top of him.

  "You stupid mother fucker," she snarled punching the hell out of him.

  Harper was in shock and just laid there. "Taylor!" I exclaimed standing back staring wide eyed at the small girl beating the boy twice her size.

  Harper finally coming out of his daze flipped her over to the ground holding her down.

  "Get off her!" I demanded grabbing the back of his shirt throwing him off. I might feel sorry for Harper but I sure as hell didn't trust him. Taylor pushed up off the ground about to go after him again when I grabbed her.

  "Did this piece of shit hurt you?" she questioned glaring daggers at Harper who scowled back at her.

  "Don't look at her like that. You punched her," I told Harper.

  "Whatever," he scoffed stalking off.

  "I don't think so," Taylor went to go after him.

  "No, Taylor. Let him go," I shook my head.

  "Ever!"

  "Really trust me."

  "He punched me!"

  "I know. I'm sorry just please," I pleaded. Taylor's face was burning red and I swear I seen smoke coming out of her ears but she stopped struggling and we watched Harper storm down the hall and around the corner.

  "Tell me everything, now." I sighed looking at her. "Hey guys, where the hell have you been?" Kimmy questioned coming around the corner. Taylor opened her mouth but I cut her off.

  "Sorry, we went down to the...arcade room and just poked our head in for a second," I lied throwing my thumb over my shoulder in the direction I knew the arcade room was.

  Taylor had her mouth in a firm line not saying a word. "Ohhh, yeah I forgot about that. We should go in there. Alex won't let me play dance-dance revolution anymore at home. Thinks I'll jiggle the baby too much," Kimmy rolled her eyes moving passed us toward the arcade. Lauren and Angie followed and Taylor and I shuffled behind them.

  "Trust me," I told Taylor softly glancing over at her. She had her arms crossed. Glancing up at me for a moment, she gave a stiff nod and caught up with Angie.

  "Why do you have a knot on your head," Angie questioned poking it.

  Taylor swatted her hand away.

  "Ever let go of the bathroom door in my face."

  "I didn't know it didn't have a spring," I teased half-heartedly.

  "No wonder you're all crabby," Angie nudged Taylor with her elbow.

  "Yeah," Taylor muttered.

  ~The Truth About Love~

  I was sitting on Oliver's bed in one of his shirts. He was in the bathroom taking a shower. he had just had sex but I think he knew something was wrong. My heart had been in it but my mind was far away. Harper’s words were playing repeatedly in my head.

  Oliver stepped out of the bathroom drying his hair. He was completely naked.

  I laughed, "What if someone comes in?"

  "Well, they should knock. I've told them enough times they should know better by now," he smirked dropping down on the bed. Laying his head in my lap, I stroked his hair my fingers tracing over his cheekbones and jaw. He shut his eyes sighing in content.

  "Why do you have to go to the warehouse? Can't you just stay here with me for a little while?" I questioned.

  His eyes opened slowly to look up at me. Lifting his hand, he ran his thumb over my lips cupping my face.

  "You know there is a lot of stuff going on baby girl," he spoke gently.

  "I know," my voice was tight. He had no idea how big this really was. Propping himself up he faced me completely. Brushing my hair back, he rested his hand on my neck.

  "What's wrong? You've been on the verge of tears since you got home," he told me in a serious tone even though it was soft.

  I shook my head, "I just want to spend time with you," I replied honestly. I wanted to spend every moment with him before I decided on what to do. Do I tell him everything Harper told me? Do we try to work this out together? Or do I stay away from him and hope he stayed safe?

  "Ever, you can't lie to me," he whispered pulling my face to him and kissing my lips sweetly. I cherished the taste of him. His spearmint tooth paste lingered in my mouth even as he pulled back.

  "There was a rapid knock on the door.” Oliver, we're heading out," Leon called.

  "You two quit having sex and get out here," Jake yelled from farther down the hall.

  "And, don't say you weren't we could hear your bed bouncing off the wall," he added.

  My face darkened, "Go kick him for me," I told Oliver frowning. Sighing Oliver stood up grabbing his clothes and putting them on. After putting on his shoes, he turned back to me. Reaching over the bed, he grabbed me scooping me up in his arms. Wrapping his arms tight around me, he held me to his chest and sat on the edge of the bed.

  "I love you."

  "I love you too," I whispered my throat constricting with tears. I forced them down. Tilting my head up he kissed me again. "I wouldn't leave you like this if it wasn't important. You know that right?"

  "It's ok."

  "No it's not."

  We were silent.

  "I will be back as quickly as possible. Don't you dare go anywhere." I bite my lip nodding. With another sigh, he laid me back on the bed covering me up. Placing a kiss on my forehead he went to the door pausing her looked back at me. He didn't want to leave at all I could see it.

  "Go sweetheart," I told him, "I'll be here I promise." With a nod, he left. After a few moments, I heard them leave and that’s when the tears started. Our life was never going to be normal as long as Oliver was leader of the gang. I knew that a while back but I just wish so bad things could be normal, our normal. No violence, no death, and most of all no heartache.

  Twenty minutes after Oliver left and I was in the bathroom throwing up violently. There was a knock on the bedroom door.

  "Ever?" Kimmy called.

  "I'm fine," I hollered. Dipping my hands into the sink full of water, I splashed it on my face. I felt ill. Deathly ill.

  "Stress," I muttered angrily to myself. My nerves have been on edge ever since I got home, it's freakin obvious my body would start protesting.

  There was another knock on the door. "I said I'm fine Kimmy," I called. After a few moments, I hear the bedroom door open and shut then Taylor appeared in the door way of the bathroom.

  "I shouldn't be surprised you know how to pick a lock," I told her. She pursed her lips at my tone. I ha dn’t meant to come off rude
but right now, I just wasn't in the mood to talk. Saying nothing, she hopped up on the counter staring at me concerned.

  "I'm fine," I told her sinking down into the floor crossing my legs.

  "You don't look fine, Ever," she finally spoke.

  "I know you want to talk about what's going on. What happened with Harper today...but I'm not in the mood to be socialable." "I think you need to be," she snapped, "Everlyn, I might not have known you long but I damn well care about you. You look like a fucking walking skeleton. I said it. No one else will, they tip toe around you like you are made of glass but I am going to be flat out honest. I'm worried about you."

  I sat silent for a moment. Looking down at myself, I didn't think I looked like a skeleton. If anything my stomach was swollen with the amount of food, I eat.

  "You know I'd say you were anorexic but you eat like a horse. I think something is wrong. Health wise and I think you need to see a doctor. I...I mean you got shot for crying out loud...and you haven't gone back really," she told me.

  I frowned at her words. Looking up at her, I tried to figure out why her words seemed to strike me wrong.

  "Tell me what is going on with Harper now?" she changed the topic.

  "Not until you tell me what you are hiding."

  Taylor looked at anything but me, "I can't," she muttered.

  "Taylor, you're blatantly honest about everything. Why not tell me what you are hiding?" "You are the one that’s good at keeping secrets. Ones that get people hurt," she frowned, “You are the one who needs to be spilling your guts.”

  Her eyebrows arched together in a stubborn way. If I weren’t so annoyed, I'd think it was comical.

  "I'm trying to protect...people....it's best you don't know," I sighed running both my hands through my hair I just wanted to rip it out and scream at the top of my lungs. I wanted to hit something. To lash out. Every emotion in me was just bottled up and screaming for release.

  "Remember what happened last time you wanted to protect people," she pressed.

  "Taylor!" I groaned in frustration. I know what happened last time. Kimmy and Alex got hurt. Jet almost died. Oliver almost went to prison. Yeah I fucked up. How do I know this will be the same? How do I know that if I tell Oliver he won't run over and try to attack Weasley and that could get him killed?

  "Ever, I'm begging you. Tell me what is going on?" Taylor sighed in exasperation.

  I shook my head. I couldn't.

  You're an idiot, my brain screamed. But if it meant Oliver safe then I had to stay away from him. I am his weakness, his love for me with be the death of him if I don't stop it. Tears threatened to boil over again but I held them in.

  Taylor sighed in defeat, "Whatever you are going to do...just don't," she told me standing.

  "No wait," I jumped up stopping her, "What is it you're not telling me?" Her face twisted in pain for a moment and she shook her head. I shoved the bathroom door shut refusing to let her out.

  "Taylor," I frowned, "What is it?"

  "Ever..." "No, don't give me that look. Does every one else know the secret too?" I scowled crossing my arms. She put on an emotionless look but I could tell right away. Everyone knew something and weren't telling me.

  I refused to budge from the door.

  "I can move you, you know," she frowned placing her hands on her hips. "Taylor, tell me," I demanded getting more and more angry that no one told me this secret whatever the hell it was. Why leave me out of it?

  Taylor stood firm with not telling me. Spinning around I jerked the door open storming to my closet. Ignoring the fact that Taylor was standing there I changed into a pair of pants and a tank top. Jerking on my boots angrily.

  "What are you doing?" she questioned. "Going to the source," I scowled tying my hair up in to a bun and exiting the room into the hallway.

  "Ever, please don't push this," Taylor begged from behind.

  "What's goioohh,” Kimmy frowned as I came down the stairs. "Pissed off Ever, let’s stay clear of that," she told Lauren who was sitting with her on the couch.

  "What's going on?" Angie questioned Taylor as I took off out the front door heading for the warehouse.

  The walk was short and most of it I don't remember as angry thoughts passed through my head. Granted I'm being a damn hypocrite by not telling Oliver about Harper but I could tell through Taylor this was serious and I needed to know.

  Entering the warehouse, many of the guys stopped short of greeting me. Many cleared out of my way.

  "Oliver's in trouble," one laughed quietly. "Is he in the office?" I questioned the boy who spoke. The grin slid off his face and he nodded quickly.

  Within seconds I was at Oliver's office and slung the door open with a fury that was not my own. It was like for a moment I was possessed. The few boys in the room jumped in shock.

  "Out," I spoke not even looking at them. Oliver stood up frowning in concern. The door shut and I instantly started in.

  "Oliver, what are you hiding from me?"

  His look dropped into disapproval. "I could ask you the same thing." "Don't turn this around right now. I'm going through crap right now ok, but seriously. Everyone knows but me? Why the hell would you keep something from me?

  "Ever," he spoke softly. I could tell he instantly knew what I was talking about. So he was keeping something from me. This just made me angrier.

  "Don't Ever me. Wha-" Oliver pulled me into his chest cutting off my demand. He held he even though I fought to get free. He held me until I gave up in defeat, by then all my anger had drained away and was replaced by tears.

  "I thought it was best not to tell you. How did you find out?" he frowned.

  "Is that really important? I now know," I sniffled turning away from him.

  He tilted my chin to look at him. "I couldn't tell you. It would hurt you too much if I did. You were already going through a lot. I couldn't let you know. I wasn't even the first to know."

  "What is it?" I pleaded. He sighed leading me to the couch and sitting me down in his lap. I looked at him nerveously. He didn't say anything for a long time he just stared down, his eyes started to glisten.

  "Ever, you were pregnant."

  I gaped at him. I couldn't even begin to form words. "Only two weeks along," Oliver said gently. "We...it happened on our first time together."

  Not able to speak I wrapped my arms around Oliver's neck. He rocked me speaking softly to me. I don't know how long we sat there for. I didn't even know how to feel anymore.

  “Oliver,” I muttered through tears.

  “Yes,” he spoke his voice breaking. He cleared his throat. “Weasley is behind all the attacks. He’s going to come after me because I’m your weakness.”

  Oliver didn’t move he was silent. I pulled back to look at him. He had tears in his eyes. A single tear rolled down his cheek. I brushed it away gently.

  “Harper came to me today. He caught me at the mall. That’s why Taylor has been pissed. He kind of punched her lights out.”

  Oliver stayed silent, not a single emotion crossed his face. “Harper was black and blue,” I whispered, “He was warning me that his father was coming after us and that he wants you to join him again. That he would use me against you and that I should stay away from you if I wanted to protect you.”

  Oli ver’s shoulders sagged and he leaned back on the couch. Lifting his hands to his face, he racked them through his hair and locked his fingers behind his head. Staring at the ceiling, he looked a million miles away.

  “This isn’t exactly how I pictured you’d take this news,” I told him tracing my fingers along his stubble covered chin.

  “I already knew about Weasley coming after me. He thought that I was long gone. I made sure to stay out of his radar. He might be run Nework but he mostly deals business from his office and rarely goes out of his comfort zone,” Oliver sighed.

  “But why is he coming after you now? None of it makes sense?” Oliver dropped his head to look at me, “Well, like I said Weasley thought I
was gone. I made him think I had gone across country and fell off the map. He never pursued me cause…well let’s say I really pissed him off last time I seen him. However, now I’m older, a lot less hot headed and a better fighter than I ever was before.”

  “But that-” “I’m getting to it Bunny. You sure are impatient,” he smiled softly.

  I rolled my eyes but let him speak. “The night we had our little weekend in the city and I took you to the roof top club. You remember right?”

  “Yeah we ran from Harper and Weasley that night.” “Exactly, the guard we pa ssed on the way up tipped Weasley off I was there. So that started his little quest. He’s always wanted me as a son, the reason being. He thinks I am.”

  “Wait, what do you mean? Your father is in prison?”

  “He is. However, my lovely mother was not a one woman kind of girl.”

  “She was with Weasley?” I muttered pulling my eyebrows together. “Exactly, see Harper doesn’t know this but the reason Weasley kind of adopted me is because he thought I was his. He sees a lot of himself in me and he loved my mother. He was with her long before my father was. He blames my father for taking her away from him and causing her death.”

  “So it’s a lot more complicated that I thought,” I frowned. “Yes, the point is Weasley truly thinks I’m his first born son. He hates Harper because he was not born to him by the woman he was in love with.”

  “That’s horrible. From what I’ve seen of Harper he just wants to make his dad happy.” “He does. The sad truth is Harper will never be me, I know that’s horrible to say but that’s how Weasley sees it. He wanted me to take over the family business. He wanted me to follow his example and my first step to that was beating the hell out of Harper because he was, as Weasley said weak and pathetic. Harper was just a kid.”